好男人的定義-讓自己成為 高價值男人

「高價值男人」與「普通男人」之間的差別：想要「增值」？請遵守這６個原則！

高價值男人與普通男人之間的差別是什麼？你說差很多？其實不然！你說距離很大？也不是這樣！就是有些「眉角」很多人都了解，但不是每個人都做得到。於是做到的那位增值了，沒做到的那位，也許沒跌，不過確實停了。

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我們心裡總是相信有天會遇見對的人，相信戀情終究會開花結果，不過現實就是為了不斷打擊你的信心而存在的（？），漸漸的你了解到感情世界的殘酷，就當邊舔傷口邊高喊「要好好愛自己」，但你真的做到了嗎？我想，與其空喊口號，不如給自己明確設下原則，從中找到自己的價值，自然而然你終將脫穎而出。

#1：找到自己的價值。

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單身並不是一件負面的事，而且往往一個人時你會更容易發現自己的優點。你可能開始知道自己其實是個獨立、穩重的人，或是有著獨特品味等，無論是多麼小的事情，這些都組合成了「你」。

#2：清楚自己的優勢，但不過份誇耀。

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人比人，氣死人。你不需要跟別人比較，你只需要知道自己的優勢在哪裡，不管是外表還是內涵，你一定能找到一項優勢，而它足以讓你閃閃發光。

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嘗試專注在這優勢上，或是延伸出更多的優點，如此一來，你也會打從靈魂深處有趣起來。絕對不要因為對方不感興趣就轉移到另一個你不熟悉的領域去，與其到處指點江山，不如樹立某個領域的發言權，做個某方面真正優秀，而不是誇誇其談的人！

#3：擁有自己的生活。

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除了工作，你應該讓自己有所成長，不管是廚藝、旅行或是閱讀，你應該充實自己的生活與內心，才能有富裕的感情去愛他人，也不會總渴望別人來豐富你的生活。

#4：剛強，但別忘記柔軟。

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你不能忘記自己所相信的價值觀，你可以剛強獨立，但也請不吝嗇展現自己脆弱的那一面。讓自己的個性層次化，不要一昧固執，也不是永遠柔弱。

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你應要對自己所相信的事物，抱持獨有的態度，藉此也可以讓別人發現你的與眾不同，進而有更多的話題與你討論，只是切記：不要做過頭！因為為反對而反對的人，反而會讓人感到厭煩。

Alpha男已OUT？這年頭「西格瑪男」比阿爾法受歡迎：錯過就很難再找到

What is a Sigma male? The high value man. Sigma Males have high values and characteristics. We also compare the Sigma male vs Alpha male, which both have better self esteem.

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What is a Sigma Male?

A Sigma Male is a man who chooses to live his life outside of the normal social dominance hierarchy of society. Sigma males have similar traits to alpha males but prefer to walk to the beat of their own drum, and don’t often take orders from people or conform to society’s labels or systems.

Sigma Males are often the ones who step outside their comfort zones, create amazing things, start businesses, are quiet and confident partners, and hard workers.
Their role, whether they realize it or not, is to pave the way for many others, including Alpha Males who aren’t as creative or as willing to buck the trend to allow society to progress.

你也許常遇到自信滿滿、喜歡當老大的「阿爾法男性」(alpha male，阿爾法指社會性動物社群中地位最高的個體，可能為雄性或雌性)，這樣的身分與性格，看起來是不少男性與女性注目的焦點，大多男性也確實被教導要朝阿爾法之路邁進，但也有一種男性並不擔心自己的位置也能保有吸引力，他們是所謂的西格瑪男 (sigma male)。

根據《Bright Side》指出，西格瑪男不需要別人的認同，比起講話大聲和傲慢，他們更冷靜、沉穩。他們也許內向，但同時有自信心；他們不喜歡待在小團體，也很難融入團體，因為他們本身非常稀有。若要把阿爾法與西格瑪男性做比較：

西格瑪與阿爾法男性其實有很多共同點。他們都有自信，對於人生目標的要求也相當高，主要差異在於態度。西格瑪會選擇置身階級之外，阿爾法男性則傾向當階級的最高層，他們透過爬上階級階層來達成目標。另一方面，西格瑪們不歸屬於任何群體，他們可說是我行我素。

西格瑪男特質：

他們不在乎別人的期望：如果說阿爾法們置身頂端、貝塔 (beta) 們為追隨者，西格瑪基本上不屬於這階層中的一份子。階級對他們而言沒有意義，所有來自社會的標準期望 (特別是阿爾法們)，對他們而言是空泛的。你無法告訴他們該怎麼穿著、怎麼表現，他們總是做自己。

他們善於打破成規：他們不適合活在權威之下，比較適合當自己老闆，把彈性與和平看得更重要。他們更適合為自己工作，對於自我時間管理與掌控非常在行。

他們不用尋找認同：西格瑪不需靠奢華的事物或頭銜也能感到滿足、成功。他們不需要貴重的事物來認同自己，自我價值比物質對他們而言更重要。所以他們會開／騎任何自己喜歡的車，穿任何自己喜歡的衣物，阿爾法們是無法支配他們的。「遵循自己的內心」是他們的座右銘。

他們不會向所有人敞開心胸：他們不會在社群媒體上吹噓自己的成就或分享自己的夢想。他們傾向對感興趣的事物保有私人空間，因此常被人認為活在自己世界或神秘兮兮。想認識西格瑪，得花上更多時間。他們不覺得有必要分享私人資訊，不用別人的鼓勵或認可，就像魚不用會騎腳踏車。

他們是謙遜的領導者：西格瑪們是孤狼，不過如果環境與情勢適合，他們會是很強大的領導者。他們的熱忱和奉獻度能啟發周遭的人。上位者的西格瑪們不會顯得高高在上，這是他們受尊敬的原因。

他們將自己的生活型態看得更重要：他們對於自己的日常瑣事過於自主，他們最不想遇到的，是會控制他們的人。他們視別人的期望為無物，只有自己真的想要才會做出改變。

(左：基努李維  右：克里斯漢斯沃)

他們是有自信的內向者：他們不喜歡待在鎂光燈下，寧願花更多時間獨處。雖然他們經常不被注意，但他們還是有跟阿爾法一樣的自信，差別在於阿爾法們有比較多外向的表現。

私人空間非常重要：西格瑪需要更多私人空間來學習和達成目標。他們有可能做出大幅度鉅變，例如突然就這麼消失了，為的是追尋自己的熱忱，且這一路上不會讓任何人阻止自己。

為何他們受歡迎：

籠罩他們的神祕感，使他們更有趣，且很難忽略他們的智慧和自主性。西格瑪從不遵循大眾，也不必別人認同，這是西格瑪男性與女性吸引人的特點。關於西格瑪的定義，網路上最近有很多討論，有的人認為是無稽之談；有的人向他們看齊，也想成為一位西格瑪。

Sigma Male: 17 Traits that Separate You from a Beta or an Alpha

Everyone has probably heard of the alpha male, but sigma males are less well known. While the alpha is the guy at the party telling dirty jokes to the Latin beautiful girls to impress them and intimidate others, the sigma male is harder to spot. Sigma males tend to be introverted but not exactly shy. They tend to blend in, being more confident in his place in the pack. He is the brooding, mysterious one, but what mysteries he keeps are his own. He might meet Columbian women, or chat with single girl, but she will feel like she never really knew him. Latin women date many kinds of men, of course, but sigma males are very attractive to many kinds of women.

So what makes a sigma male? Here are 17 telltale signs that his is not just playing hard to get, but just wants to be left alone. These don’t define them, but are things they all have in common.

#1: They don’t want to be in charge. The idea of competing with others for top position, having others follow them, or them following someone else makes them uncomfortable. They won’t compete with other guys for gorgeous Latina women. They let the women find them.

#2: They are rebels. Anything hot or in, they are against it. Guys think it’s quirky, girls think it’s sexy. This rebelliousness can turn the head of a Colombian lady.

#3: Just as powerful as alphas, sigmas aren’t followers and could be leaders if they wanted to be (which they don’t). They want to do their own thing and don’t care who is in charge.

#4: Sigmas are men of few words. They won’t voice their opinions because it is nobody’s business.

#5: Sigmas are the classic “bad boy.” Not because they are really bad, just because they won’t be told what to do.

#6: Sigmas are highly attractive to women, if only so women can find out what is going on in their head.

#7: They seem to be both book smart and street smart, so when they talk, people listen.

#8: They hate social norms and expectations, never wanting to be put in a “box.”

#9: They tend to live in morally gray areas and get in trouble whether they try to or not.

#10: They don’t like rules because they feel like they were made to keep them down and make them feel powerless.

#11: They try to blend into the background. They stand out by not going with the grain, though, so pretty Latina girls pick them out of a crowd and find them irresistible.

#12: They don’t follow trends. If it’s in style, they don’t like it.

#13: They have abnormal tastes and interests. They pursue strange hobbies and academic interests.

#14: They don’t belong to any social group. They aren’t nerds, jocks, or any of that, and will be just as into beautiful woman in Latin heritage as women from other cultures.

#15: They are instigators. If there is trouble, they are probably behind it.

#16: Refusal to conform makes them subjects of ridicule. People don’t understand them, so they make fun of them.

#17: They only conform if they get something out of it. If they are interested in ladies from Colombia, for instance, they might go along with the group to get what they want.

You can see that sigma males can be pretty attractive to women, mostly because they stick out by not going along with the crowd. We all know that one person who doesn’t conform and doesn’t feel the need to. He is probably a sigma male. The question to ask is if you are as well. If you see yourself in these 17 qualities, then maybe you are!